sarcastictears (sarcastictears) wrote in thekrippledkids,
sarcastictears
sarcastictears
thekrippledkids

ummmm

I haven't written in any kind of Lj of a long time because I've made some awful mistakes and I don't want to hurt anybody else any more. But I have had real selfesteem issues dealing with my CP lately and kind of think it would help to them down and get feedback....

I have always had a weird self-deprecating feeling about the way me knees turn in and often knock together. But nobody has ever made fun of that aspect of my disability until recently and really got me. I had a pool party yesterday and I invited who’d never seen me outside of school and the zoo (which means she’d never seen me walk before) and when I came out of the house she just randomly started laughing. I asked her what was so funny and she said. “Your legs are sticks and your knees are red form being banged together.” I was so embarrassed that I almost went back inside but I couldn’t because it was my party. Then today I went to get my eyebrows done and my shirt rode up in the front exposing my stomach and the lady doing my eyes pitch my stomach and joked,” I think you should move that down to your skinny little legs.” I thought I was going to cry I felt so ugly. I know that in reality I’m 5 lbs underweight and that I can’t help the whole leg thing but I hate it. Sometimes I just wish I was invisible.
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